Saturday, October 20, 2012
I'm trying to figure out how to write on here using my cellphone since it's hard to use my laptop very long. For some reason, the screen sets off a massive migraine & I have far too many as it is. My newest fun symptom is dizziness. I have trouble standing or walking without falling or bumping into things. After a shower yesterday, I leaned over to turn off the water & bang! Hit the knobs. Just missed taking out my left eye. I have to keep my hair covering the left side of my face because it's all bruised & a lovely shade of black/blue/purple. Arielle came home from work last night, took one look at me & just started crying. I'm afraid to go to the ER because I think I did some real damage this time & they'll want to to a MRI. I'm terribly afraid of being trapped in that little tube. Last time, Randy had to sit in the room & hold me because I was shaking so bad. That was just a simple 5~minute scan to make sure there were no tumors. This scan Will have to be much longer & will need contrast I have trouble with that too. I'm allergic to the contrast material & guess what it does? YES! Another migraine! I have a regular appointment with the doctor on Tuesday afternoon, so maybe I'll just wait until then to let him decide what to do. October 19 I stratred writing this earlier and couldn't get my Stupid Droid to post it, so I'll just finish it here. I ended up in the ER on Sunday. I was getting ready to go to bed Saturday night and the next thing I remember, my daughter was screaming my name and crying. It was 6 a.m. I had somehow passed out and 8 hours went by. I made the mistake of going to the local hospital. They did the usual scans and tests, but found nothing. No broken bones, even though my left arm was so swollen, I couldn't bend it, my head was covered with bruised and lumps and I could barely walk without help. They wouldn't give me anything for the migraines, even though they have records of almost 20 years worth of migraines and calls from my neurologist at the Cleveland Clinic. I BEGGED for something for the pain. Gave me a shot of what might as well as water. Then the nurse patrictioner said they wanted to admit me for the night. Will they help my head? NO, sorry. Well, then no, sorry, I'm going home. A new malme nurse slams in, rips the IV out of my arm, then squeezes a piece of gauze so hard I cried. Then he bent my arm up HARD to find a piece of tape. I was crying by that time. He came back with the tape, I was holding my arm and told him he hurt me and not to touch me again. He shoved a clipboard at me to sign since I was going AMA and he left. Luckily, my mother was with me or I would have been crawling out of there naked. I could barely walk. I was given NO discharge papers, test results or the required wheelchair ride to the car. Mom walked me to the nursing center. I asked for the "nurse's" name since he hadn't bothered to tell me his name or if he was even a nurse. I called the hospital and made a formal complaint. The "nurse" lied and said I was the one causing problems. I couldn't barely move and couldn't think because my head was so badly injured. The hospital knew he was lying and said they with my results that day. I did get the call and was told there was nothing wrong with me. HUH? Being unconscious for 8 hours is normal? An arm swelled twice the size of a normal arm is fine? Not being able to converse like an adult is normal? Fine, go ahead and cover for your staff. The lies will come out. One of these days, they will push the wrong person and they will call me. Lying, cheating and more is wrong and hurting patients is sickening. What happened to, "Do No Harm?" I will see my regular doctor on Tuesday. After he finishes yelling for not going to his hospital, he'll take care of me and make sure he does his best to help me. He's the only doctor I truly trust. Please, feel free to tell any problems you have had with medical staff. Have you been treated like a piece of meat and then thrown away? It's time to make people accountable.
I finally got to write a real hard-news article for the newspaper I freelance for the other day. I felt alive for the first time in an unreal time. Since I got so sick and had to give up on being a full-time staff reporter and went back to freelancing, I try to keep my work to firemen saving kittens from trees and lots of other fuzzy stories. I've written hard stories, sure, murder trials and many other legal stories, but this one beat the local paper. They were too afraid to even bother to write about it. I happened to walk in and hear one of the "top ladies" thanking him for not writing about it. PUKE! I Know, I Know, Gretchen, keep your mouth shut. Don't do it!!! Well, as we all know, those words don't mean a whole lot to me. I had to tell her, "When you hide things, then it just makes it look like you have done worse!" She glared at me and sat down. Refused to speak to me the rest of the meeting. Ah well, her loss. We've never been fans of each other. She's pushed me too far once before and her pet project no longer gets ANY coverage in my paper. :) Sad how these things happen! When her events are going on, I'm forced to be at other events and there is only one me. The story was our local sheriff walked off the job and it was being kept under the rug. The local paper refused to write about it, the other large paper wrote a tiny bit, but I got a HUGE front page story on it. Made my day! I actually cried when I saw my By line! Writing that story made me remember why I became a write to begin with. I felt good telling the truth and letting people know what was really happening. I had one lady comment on my article (she had no idea I was a reporter, let alone the one who wrote it) and was saying she was going to subscribe to this paper because you never hear the real news in the local rag. I almost died laughing!!! Thank you to the two brave souls who gave me the tip and to the paper who believed that I could still write hard news. It means the world to me that I'm still a real reporter!! :)
Monday, October 8, 2012
I had planned to see Taken 2 with hubby this weekend, but then our daughter had a disaster of a day. Her best friend blew her off to spend the day with boyfriend and didn't bother to tell her til she was 5 minutes away from picking her up. They were doing the whole girl thing, new hair, nails, lunch and a silly movie. Hubby and I had slightly higher scale plans.
When we ran into each other, she was crying her eyes out and nothing could help. By then, all the beauticians were closing and she couldn't get her hair colored. SIGH! What else could we do? Go see the movie I absolutely did not want to see - Frankenweenie. I had said it from the first preview, I CAN'T SEE THIS MOVIE! I knew better. There are just some things in life, I can't deal with. This movie matter happens to be one of them. I've lose far too many good friends to ever be entertained watching it happen, but she's my daughter and clearly needed me.
I sit down, and the movie starts. OK, not too bad until the baseball scene. Damn that father! Why can't he just be happy to have a smart son? Why does every father think he has the next million dollor baseball player? Of course, the worst happens. The boy's dog, Sparky, loves baseballs and goes chasing the one Victor hit. Car doesn't see the dog. Tears, burial, etc...
That's when the tears started and didn't stop until it was over. Well, til long after it was over. I couldn't eat and almost 12 hours later, I'm still crying. WHY??? Why do we all have to be reminded that losing our best friend is a nightmare we can't wake up from and our idiot parents don't know what they are talking about?
If I thought for one second I could bring back any of my beloveds, I'd be up in the attic with Mom's muffin pan. It can't happen. What comes back isn't what always leaves. My heart is smashed and I'll never get over the last loss. Adonis was the love of my life. He just knew when I needed him and was there. I'll never be able to replace him, even if I wanted to.
Just a little warning before taking your children to this movie - Yes, it has a happy ending, but the other images can't be taken away. Make sure your child knows it's only a movie and it can't happen in real life. If you think there's a chance your child will be confused, don't go to this movie. Go see Hotel Transylvania.