Life is really hard these days. I guess they are most days, but when it gets to a point where standing up isn't possible, I suppose that "hard" can be preceded by a "really." It's the way things are, I suppose.
I was sent to yet another pain clinic where yet another doctor poured over my mountainous records and decided to try an occipital nerve block. That means, he jabbed a needle into the bottom of my skull on the right side. Always fun. Within two minutes, I was on the exam table, writhing in pain. Probably not a sign that it's going to work. The nurse takes off the vital signs machine because it's beeping really loud and constantly. Probably because I'm hyperventilating. I'm told to go home and keep track of how much better I feel following week. Yeah, right.
We're 40 hours from home, but I'm out cold within second of getting into the truck and only wake up when we get home. Long enough to stumble in and drop into bed. Next thing I know, it's Friday afternoon and Randy has had to give me pain shots to keep me from yet another hospital stay. It's about 30 hours after the injection before I'm even semi-normal. Of course, I don't know that I'm ever normal.
The real fun begins the next day, when my right eye starts to go numb. Then it's my temple, ear and nose. By the time I get back to the pain clinic, my cheek is numb. He says that isn't possible for the cheek to be related to the injection, that part of the brain's functions. Wonderful! Can it get any better? Have I had any recent scans? Yes, I have been scanned, x-rayed and more enough so that I probably glow in the dark by now. He wants me to see a neurologist ASAP. Anyone who knows anything about neurologist knows ASAP means maybe 4 months, 3 if it's a real emergency.
The nurse calls me the next day and I have an appointment a week and a half later. That is fast. Never heard of such a thing, but at this point, I'll go with it. As anyone who knows me knows by now, I've tried some interesting things over the past 20+ years. Lets see, 4 or was it 5 neurologists all over this State and out to the Cleveland Clinic. At least a dozen different regular doctors, 5 pain clinics, a faith healer, Reiki healing, massage therapy, physical therapy, a past life regression punctuated by a goat hoof rattle -- Don't ask, it's better not to ask. I'm getting pretty tired of all of it. Nobody can help me. Most give up quickly, some take a little longer, but they all end up punting me to another place. Making me someone else's responsibility relieves them of having to try and fix me anymore. I do have a really great PCP. He's doing the best he can. I'm just one of those cases that nobody has been able to figure out. I haven't received the full body transplant I've asked for more than once. Some day. I've asked for a Native American medicine man and a friend is working on that. Maybe a voodoo priestess? I've always wanted to get to New Orleans.....
Anywho, here I sit, watching more mindless TV, praying, demanding, bargaining, etc.. with whoever is listening at this moment in time to help stop it or even make it a bit less painful. Again, no such luck.
I'm open to all sorts of suggestions, give it a try and let me know your thoughts. I need help ~ desperately.